Everybody, rock your body right: Funmail is back, all right!
This first one wins the doublethink award:

From: "andreas ***"
Subject: how to get application

how can I get an application to your website w/o an application

Hmmm… Maybe it's a riddle?

Subject: (no subject)

i was just wondering if you had any pics of peircings

Piercings? Pictures? No, I don't have anything like that… In fact, I don't think anything like that exists anywhere online. This next one wins a Darwin Award I think:

Subject: (no subject)

how exactly is a tongue venom pierced, i mean the placement? is it straight through the veins on the bottom ? thank you

Yeah, right through the veins. That's how you can tell the placement is perfect. Don't pay any attention to the deep blue color your tongue has turned… That's normal. This next mail wasn't actually sent to me. It was sent to one of the automated systems. It's always weird what people send to the robots:

From: "Roger ***"
Subject: Re: Previous BME membership not found

so slave we back on track? you still wanna be my boy for life? Ill take ya and get there as soon as I can. Be patient!! still want ta know why you want me for your M?

Someone is just a little too obsessed with the lifestyle!
It always cracks me up when I get mails like the next one… The “I'm 100% man… or am I?” syndrome.

From: "trina.spurr"
Subject: (no subject)

hello my name is peter and recently I got my eye brow pierced.when I went into the shop I asked for them 2 do the male is the first time I have had any body piercing done.they did my right eye brow and I was just wondering if that is the right side because I am 100% male and a few of my friends have said that I should have had my left eye brow done and they are calling me a puff...please get back and tell me if there is a male side to have pierced if there is can you give me any advice on what 2 do now because there must be something I can do about these cowboys that is if they have pierced the wrong side thanks for your time

Sorry Peter, I guess you're gay now. Not much you can do about it. But really, other than the uncomfortable conversation you'll have to have with your parents it's really quite fun.

Subject: pain

tell me do you have a load of painfull metal fittings all over your body? if so where?

I don't know if that was an insult? Well, as the Backstreet Boys always say, “As long as there'll be music we'll be coming back again”. I've got so much funmail still to post… And it keeps coming.

Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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