Monthly Archives: June 2001


First, I cooked for myself today… Jerk ginger chicken, fried with sweet black rice with okra, zuccini, and mushrooms. Toxicly hot, but good. Buffered with a thick mango drink.

Some good news: Just talked to my neighbor's landlord. He's agreed to knock down the fence between our properties and has said it's no problem if we want to use the entire yard for the BBQ — which means that on top of the lot, we'll have twice as much “legal” space for the July 1st BBQ.

Sorry Iowa!

Just got this message from Leviathan in regards to the mention of Iowa in the funmail below:

hey shannon i am from iowa and surprising enough i and not a country hick nor do i only think bad stuff comes from the city. everyone thinks that because i am from iowa that i am a redneck sister lovin hick. true there are closed minded people here but you have to realize that there are closed minded people everywhere you go. oh well.

Don't worry! I don't think everyone in Iowa is a hick… I was kidding. I'm from a small town myself. Actually, not even a town. I'm from a small island about ten miles from a small village. When I say “small” I mean at most 150 people. There was a small town (maybe 4000 people) about a twenty minute drive away. It's actually been my experience that per capita, remote areas have far more eccentrics and open minded kooks than cities do.

Not a cult

Hey! The Church used a quote from me on their latest flier. Why haven't you joined yet?

Will the funmail never end?

Let's start with the classic type of funmail:

Subject: nasty

you people have to be on crack to do this shit. didnt any of this hurt god damn fucked up shit

I guess when you're living in Iowa, all the weird stuff in this world must be due to some big-city crack thing.

OK, this next one I thought was weird. BME pretty much never removes anything, it just adds more and more and more and more information. But still, all the time, people complain that the site used to have far more and it keeps getting smaller:

Subject: info??

i thought this site used to contain quality information about piercing healing, the likelihood of rejection for particular piercings. this site rocked a few years ago but it seems like you guys have totally sold out. your faq section is completely inadequate.

a very disappointed former fan

I replied and let them know that all they had to do was click on FAQs and they'd find all of this, and that, in addition, the glossary contained lots more information, and even more could be found in the individual sections. Here is the deranged reply:

actually, i thoroughly examined all the free parts of your site and found no information on the likelihood of rejection for any piercing listed. too bad. but fortunately there are sites out there that do answer these basic questions. look at your FAQ section and see if you find any information about rejection. i cant believe there are people that would pay just to get basic answers. but hey, thats how it works here in this country huh? squeeze that nickel til it bleeds as long as you have suckers willing to pay for inadequate information and poorly presented photos. like i said, you guys rocked until you sold out. please do not reply to this letter.

still disappointed

Of course this is from someone who has never lifted a finger to help on any level... I have no idea what they're talking about, considering that ALL of this info is in the free section, and always has been, and always will be. The only members stuff is the adult and extreme stuff... It's funny, most of the time, people complain that the free section doesn't contain enough (big surprise, right), but sometimes people complain about the the PAID section.

Subject: Refund


OK, at first this seems odd, but here's the catch: BME has a satisfaction guaranteed policy. If you're not happy with what you find, you get your money back. You just have to say why... So I get some pretty weird excuses.

Another question that I get variants on non-stop:

Subject: which nipple

iam male

does it matter which nipple i have pierced

does left mean anything?
does right mean anything?
thanks 4 your hhelp and advice


I gave my standard response: "Getting either nipple pierced means you are gay. There are nerves in the nipples that trigger it. Unless you're already gay in which case it can reverse it." By the way, if you're in Toronto, don't forget: the HUGE gay pride parade is this weekend! I'll be there at Church and Wellesley.

Anyway, I get "sellout" type emails all the time. Now, I understand at least a little when it's from someone who has contributed to the site and just doesn't like the commercial aspect -- I can relate to that. But when it's from some idiot who isn't even willing to write an experience or send in a picture, I can't really muster up a lot of respect for them:

From: Allison Olearos
Subject: bullshit

i think it is bullshit that you have to add a story or picture to bme to have full access... it used to be free, what the fuck happened? two words, SELL OUT.

One last one, this one is from a commercial piercer -- I get similar emails on a regular basis that read very similarly. Now, other than the holier-than-thou attitude Mark has -- that he is somehow qualified to do "minor surgery" is patently ridulous, but anyway... And I really have no patience for people calling me "stupid" and then saying "no offence intended". If you don't mean any offence, then write a civil letter instead:

From: Mark Campbell
Subject: piercing


My name is Mark, I am a body piercer from Washington. I hate to get in peoples buisiness, and stur up dust but I am outraged by your stupid web site!
Are you trying to get kids killed?! Publishing storys about some retards piercing themselvs with unsterilized and unsanitary equipment that isn't ment for body piercing, when they themselves are not professionals! Glorifying the thought of piercing yourself is a stupid thing to do. It isn't as easy as people think and I thank God that the dumb asses that wrote storys about themselves are ok. You are literaly cutting in to flesh and you have to know EXACTLY what you are doing, it is a minor sugery. Do you think that they should give themselves stiches? Or should they go to a doctor(pro)? I don't know if you yourself are a piercer and I mean no disrespect to you. I just think that a lot of people get hurt and even die from home made piercings that have gone wrong, and I think that if you are a piercer you should understand that. Just a suggestion that you take any and every story about SELF MUTILATION off of your site, because that is what those kids are doing to themselves. Instead, encourage them to go to their local shop. Once again, no offence intended.


I replied to this like I always do:

Mark, I understand what you're saying. However, you have to realize that the site isn't about censoring people's experiences or telling them that they can't share their experience because they didn't do it "right". It is a place where they can share what they've been through no matter how "stupidly" they did it.

Whenever *I* write anything official I encourage responsible behavior. But that's really as far as I can go. If people had stepped up and tried to protect everyone, piercing wouldn't even exist here.

By offering readers a glimpse into EVERYTHING that goes on in this world, not just what you or I determine is the right way to do things, we allow them to educate themselves and make sane decisions with a full comprehension of what is involved.

Not that it's much of a surprise, but Mark has not replied. Most people are far more interested than telling me what to do than hearing a response... Oh well. I've got an endless supply of these messages. I'll post more soon I'm sure.

Polls, polls, polls

Of course I'm going to answer a poll that my girl invented!

IAM/Internet related
1. What messaging tools do you use? (IRC, AIM, ICQ, IAM.alive etc.) I use AIM to talk to a very select group of people. I talk a very non-select bulk of people via IAM.alive.
2. How did you first find out about IAM? (bme, spc, etc) I thought it up in the laundromat one day.
3. How many IAM people have you met? More than a hundred.
4. Do you use you reveal your real name online or ONLY use a handle? I have no problem using my real name.

Personal Info:
5. Do you catagorize yourself by what music you listen to or what foods you eat? The type of music/food I'm involved with I'm sure makes comments about me on some level, but I can't imagine it categorizes me or that there's any easy category that I could be fit into.
6. Are you satisfied with your self image? I'm kind of overweight. Other than that I have no real complaints.
6b. If no, do you feel you modify your body in an attempt to “fix” the things you're not happy with? If you mean are my mods an attempt to fix this, no. If you mean do I occasionally diet and excercise, yes. Not that it's very successful.

7. Are you single or in a relationship? In a relationship.
8. Does your significant other satisfy you mentally, physically or both? Definitely both.
9. Do you trust your partner with their Ex's? Sure, I just don't trust their ex's.
10. Do you believe in Love? With a capital L.

11. Did you lie (“pad” or “fluff”) your resume? I don't even have a resume, but if I did, it's not in need of padding.
12. What is your current line of work? For lack of a better term: Artist.
13. Are you happy? There's a road stretching over the horizon and I seem to be on it and moving quickly to the unknown country in a real nice car. So… Yes!

The rest of your life:
14. If you knew that you couldn't have children in 5+ years, would you have them now? Yes.
15. If you could make all of your dreams come true at the expense of the happiness of a loved one, would you? That's a paradox, considering the happiness of a loved one is part of my dreams.