Poll stolen from Johnny

  • Drum solo or bass solo? “Bass solo, take one.”
  • Boring sex, often or mind blowing sex yearly? Boring sex is miserable and not worth having, so why even bother asking the question?
  • Ever eat dirt? Not as a main course, no.
  • Do you like the smell of your own farts? Doesn't bother me, maybe it's a science experiment if you look at it the right way.
  • Your own pits? Socially I understand it's not appropriate, but I have to agree with Johnny: “Absolutely”. In the right context, body odor — as long as it's clean and healthy of course — is incredibly sexy. But remember that sexual body odor is there for a biological reason — to let your partner know what your state of health (and arousal) is… So… If it's right, it's VERY right, but if it's not, things will be way worse.
  • Eye for an Eye or Turn the Other Cheek? Turn the other cheek a few times, and then total annihilation.
  • Does church make you horny? Church? No. Religious imagery? Hell yes.
  • Gwen or Pink? I have no interest in either of them.
  • Maiden or Priest? Maiden, but I'm biased.
  • Fred Durst or a brick? Bricks are at least useful, so I'll take the brick. The only thing Fred Durst is good for is another skull to put on the front of my Jeep.
  • Al Goldstein or Hugh Hefner? Al Goldstein, no doubt there. But again, I'm biased.
  • Wood floors or shag carpet? Wood floors. Shag carpet is cool, but I hate cleaning.
  • Ever buy a bootleg recording? Not that I can remember, if I did it was a long time ago.
  • Sold one? No, but I've given them away for free.
  • Shave or wax? Wax.
  • Would you orally pleasure yourself if you could? I'm sure I could find a spare moment.
  • Guys?/Girls? Would you swallow? I guess it depends on what kind of show you're putting on.
  • Ever shoot a gun? Yes, of course.
  • Do you own more than 3 dildos? Nope, but part of me suspects that will be changing real soon (sorry, in joke).
  • Do you remember your first kiss? Barely. As with most, it's not worth the neurons it's recorded on.
  • Do you let your canine/feline on the bed during sex? I don't let the dog on the bed ever, so no.
  • Beach or Mountains? Definitely a hard question. Probably beach, but mountains are generally more free and defendable and that is important to me.
  • Heaven or hell? Well this is really just a definition game… I want a place where I am both free and content.
  • Short hair on women or long? Obviously I can handle either, but in a perfect world, long and interesting (that is, with some flair, be it color, curls, whatever).
  • On men? Again, I have to agree with Johnny: “LONG LONG LONG. If he don't have longhair, hit the fucking highway…” But then there's something subversive about guys with short hair that play the field, so if you're into the parked car in the dark park at night anonymous gay pickup, maybe there's something to be said for short hair too.
  • Armpit hair on women? No way, and not on guys either.
  • Shaved chest on men? I'm not a fan of body hair on either sex, so yes, I guess so.
  • Ball hair? Definitely not. But I do have the sticker.
  • Favorite soap? It makes no difference to me.
  • Fave Shampoo Again, it really makes very little difference, but I like mint scents.
  • Aren't these quizzes stupid? I'm killing time until 11 PM, so it's helping.

Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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