Monthly Archives: October 2002

"Give me liberty or give me death"

I know there are Gulf War veterans using IAM, so I hope this link will be useful. I'm copying some CD data to my drive for the scrapbook right now, so while that happens I'm reading the Veterans For Common Sense web page… Definitely worth checking out.

Anyway, my plan today is to work on the scrapbook and to finally take some pictures around here… I've got so many things I want to post!

And now, some funmail. Frank Derb is one of my alter egos I occasionally use to amuse myself. Franko works in BME's “customer service” department, but he only comes out to respond to people who try and get memberships by sending in stolen photos. Here's a transcript of one of his latest conversations:

Date: Sat, 21 Sep 2002 02:37:01 EDT
Subject: Re: Check this one out.

I'm sorry about the file I sent you. I changed it into a bipmat file so you can open it. I do hope you like it and will use it on your web sight. I just love you guys. I too am well modified. I hope to get a response back from you. Thanks, Shannon

Great pictures, now your full membership will be on its way as soon as you answer this skill testing question (sorry, it's required by law to make sure you are mature enough for the content of the site):

“Monday and Tuesday have two, Wednesday and Thursday have one, Friday has six and Saturday and Sunday have none, what is it?”

I have set your username to “guest3942”.
Your password is the answer to this riddle.

Enjoy the site,

Franko Derb
Submissions Deparment

Date: Mon, 30 Sep 2002 14:05:08 EDT
Subject: Re: Check this one out.

I have answered the riddle but it is telling me that it is the wrong password. Am I right or wrong on the answer. The answer is a holiday. Please send me some feed back.

I'm sorry, I can't give you any hints, but I can tell you that is the wrong answer. The correct answer is spelled using only the letters “q”, “v”, “e”, “u”, and “t”.

Unfortunately I am now legally required to cancel your membership at the site as well as emailing the details of your answer to all other Internet sites in this jurisdiction.

It's too bad as from your photo I can see you have so many piercings, but the law's the law.

Customer Service

Date: Mon, 30 Sep 2002 21:47:06 EDT
Subject: (no subject)

You E-mailed me back saying that by law you have to cancel my membership because I asked for feedback on the riddle you sent me, when in true it was not incorrect. Please look at how I got my answer to the riddle and tell me if it is not right. There is obviously two right answers. Here was the riddle, and how I got my answer, "Monday and Tuesday have two, Wednesday and Thursday have one, Friday has six and Saturday and Sunday have none, what is it ?" Holidays that you can take of from work !!!!!!! Thanksgiving is the 1 for Thursday for example. That is completely correct. May I please have my membership back, or at least another chance at it? Thank you so much, Shannon Townsend

Thanksgiving falls on Monday, October 14th this year (this site is not published out of America, as you know — I don't think you have these laws in your country?).

Tell you what — how about I send you two questions, one to re-test, and the other to confirm your identity:

1. Where were you when that photo was taken?

2. A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating his morning meal.
“I would like to give you this personality test”, said the outsider, “because I want you to be happy.”
Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into the toaster, saying: “I wish the toaster to be happy, too.”
Why did Drescher believe this would make the toaster happy? (Two words, first word five letters, starts with a 'y', second word, seven letters, ends with an 'e')

Last chance, make it a good one (you have to answer both)! I know this question is harder, but, as I said before, the law's the law.

Good luck,


I don't know, maybe I'm not being fair, but if someone tries to get a membership by sending me a photo ripped off from (which they ripped off themselves) and claiming it's them, I really don't feel guilty screwing with them. And maybe the koan will help them in some way.