Monthly Archives: November 2002

Thanks a lot

Another email response from my old buddy Franko Derb to some jackass that thought he could get a membership by sending in ripped off porn pix. This guy was so stupid that he was sending in sluttycamgirl pix — with their logos still on them!

Thank you so much for sending in your pictures. We have processed them and added them to the site and have applied the standard $24.99 charge per photo. You will see this automatically deducted on your next bank statement.

For legal reasons we can't email you your password so we have left it with AOL tech support. Ask for Jerry Holstein (he works weekdays between 9AM and 5PM) or ask for Susan Burrow (she works weekends and occasional night shifts). When you get them on the phone (although most of the other tech support people can help you when it comes down to it), say the following passphrase and they'll give you your password information:

"The green heron sits in the rotted nest with bowling ball eggs"

If you didn't manage to get through to either Jerry or Susan, just let the person know that they can find that information if they look in the folder "\\AOL\BME\\\PASSWORD-DATA\RECKER8889\"

Enjoy the site, and thank you again for sending in your pictures,

Franko Derb
Ministry of Passwords

If it wasn't for Franko, I'd be a far angrier fellow.

Franko strikes again (funmail)

Here's some typical crap I have to deal with. First “Nick Foster” sends me a pile of pictures, including the one below in order to get membership. He'd sent a combination of pictures stolen from torturegalaxy and from Slave Misty in France (at this point I have a pretty encyclopedic knowledge of online adult content).


From: Franko Derb

Your membership has been processed. We have placed your membership details under a star shaped rock 645 feet down the main (west) path in Central Park, NYC. Because of the extreme nature of our content we are legally required to do so.

If you are unable to pick this up yourself, please let us know and we can put you in contact with third party operatives who specialize in this type of mission.

If we do not see your account used in the next week, we will assume that you would prefer a paid account and will apply a charge of $249.99 directly to your bank account. There will also be a $15 service charge to do so.

In any case, enjoy the site, and thanks for sending in your pictures to help.

Franko Derb

Or this one, from “Sea Wolf” who says he has piercings and “sometimes I meet girlfriends which have although piercings”. He sent a pile of pictures that were absolutely blatantly ripped off from some porn site:


From: Franko Derb

Your membership has been processed. We have placed your membership details at:
N 44° 30.334 W 077° 26.960 (WGS84)
UTM: 18T E 305301 N 4930946

The container is green tupperware. All I can legally tell you is that it's on the Madoc Town Line Road, and that you'll be passing along a number of old fence lines to get there. Oh, and we've put a scratch-and-win ticket in the container as a special bonus.

If you are unable to pick this up yourself, please let us know and we can put you in contact with third party operatives who specialize in this type of mission.

Oh, and additional details on our procedures can be found at http://www.geocaching.com/ -- I realize they must seen unusual, but these are unusual times.

In any case, enjoy the site, and thanks for sending in your pictures to help.

Franko Derb

Other than that, I then have to deal with all the people that send in horrible drawn-on tattoos… And don't underestimate how hard it is to tell the difference between a really poorly done tattoo and something that's drawn on by a marker. For example:

Well, back to work…

Update: Those may well both be “real” tattoos!

Sad…

I saw on someone's page regarding the death below, them complaining that is was somehow perverse that people would care, and implied that the people leaving heartfelt statements were just making it up because they were death obsessed… I thought it was very sad to read that, and I really feel sorry for that person. I'll repeat here roughly what I said to them.

I think what you're missing is that for many people this is a community of extended friends; I think it's very sad that you see it so cynically; as just a collection of strangers.

The reason people who didn't know her are sad is the same reason people are sad when a classmate or a family member they didn't really know died.

It's called empathy, and it is very valid, and I'm not sure what gives you the right to demean that, just because you don't feel it yourself.

In all honesty, when a member of your community, especially someone that's young, lively, and full of potential, dies, it's kind of weird to not be touched by it, and even weirder to actually complain about other people are touched by it.

Very sad.

Hardboiled

OK, we're back, and we have hardcovers, and they look great. Hopefully I served my purpose on the trip (blah blah blah blah to keep the driver awake). Anyway, check it out — they really turned out great:

They'll be shipping out first thing on Monday of course. After this experience, I definitely am sold on hardcover printing and will probably do all future projects that way. Oh, and to the person who'd asked me about getting them an unbound copy to practise on for their bookbinding course, drop me a line — I managed to snag a couple for you (sorry, I've forgotten who it was — but I will remember when you contact me, so don't think you can pretend!).

And thank you to Vanilla for the finely packaged teas. I'm drinking the maple flavored one right now.

A beacon in the darkness

First things first (entry below is actually from last night):
Happy birthday to my sister Ashleigh!

PS. Yes, she's in the scrapbook. The first scrapbooks should be arriving at people's addresses starting today — I hope those people will assist in building the online index since it's an awful lot of work (but worth doing I think).


Oh, and when I say “a beacon in the darkness”, I mean the satellite. As much as there are things I hate about it (latency and cutouts), there's a real romantic beauty to a piece of high end telecommunications technology strapped to an old barn and tying a little rural farm into the global grid. That said, with the snow coming down right now, I doubt I'll be tied in much longer.