Franko strikes again (funmail)

Here's some typical crap I have to deal with. First “Nick Foster” sends me a pile of pictures, including the one below in order to get membership. He'd sent a combination of pictures stolen from torturegalaxy and from Slave Misty in France (at this point I have a pretty encyclopedic knowledge of online adult content).


From: Franko Derb

Your membership has been processed. We have placed your membership details under a star shaped rock 645 feet down the main (west) path in Central Park, NYC. Because of the extreme nature of our content we are legally required to do so.

If you are unable to pick this up yourself, please let us know and we can put you in contact with third party operatives who specialize in this type of mission.

If we do not see your account used in the next week, we will assume that you would prefer a paid account and will apply a charge of $249.99 directly to your bank account. There will also be a $15 service charge to do so.

In any case, enjoy the site, and thanks for sending in your pictures to help.

Franko Derb

Or this one, from “Sea Wolf” who says he has piercings and “sometimes I meet girlfriends which have although piercings”. He sent a pile of pictures that were absolutely blatantly ripped off from some porn site:


From: Franko Derb

Your membership has been processed. We have placed your membership details at:
N 44° 30.334 W 077° 26.960 (WGS84)
UTM: 18T E 305301 N 4930946

The container is green tupperware. All I can legally tell you is that it's on the Madoc Town Line Road, and that you'll be passing along a number of old fence lines to get there. Oh, and we've put a scratch-and-win ticket in the container as a special bonus.

If you are unable to pick this up yourself, please let us know and we can put you in contact with third party operatives who specialize in this type of mission.

Oh, and additional details on our procedures can be found at http://www.geocaching.com/ -- I realize they must seen unusual, but these are unusual times.

In any case, enjoy the site, and thanks for sending in your pictures to help.

Franko Derb

Other than that, I then have to deal with all the people that send in horrible drawn-on tattoos… And don't underestimate how hard it is to tell the difference between a really poorly done tattoo and something that's drawn on by a marker. For example:

Well, back to work…

Update: Those may well both be “real” tattoos!

Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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