Monthly Archives: April 2003

The wisdom of Satan

I'd like to quote a famous song

Sat the Devil talking to his son, who wanted to go
Up above, up above,
He cried "It's getting too warm for me - down here and so,
I'm going up on Earth where I can have a little fun."
The Devil simply shook his head and answered his son:
"Stay down here where you belong.
The folks who live above you don't know right from wrong.
To please their kings they've all gone out to war,
And not a one of them knows what's he's fighting for.
Way up above they say that I'm the Devil and I'm bad,
Kings up there are bigger Devils than your Dad,
They're breaking the hearts of mothers,
Making butchers out of brothers,
You'll find more hell up there, than there is down below."

That song is “Stay Down Here Where You Belong”, written in 1914 by Irving Berlin, more commonly known as the author of “God Bless America“, and other classic tunes like “Putting on the Ritz”.

Well then…

Just watched this segment on Australian TV… I think it typifies the stereotypical view most of the world has of what America represents. The people they interviewed all appeared to be “normal” people that looked to me like a valid cross-section of society. Anyway, here's a link to a realaudio feed of it, or you can read the goofy transcript below:

Interviewer: Look, I know a lot of people give America a bum rap for being stupid and knowing nothing about the world, but the reality couldn't be farther from the truth, as I discovered on the streets here, asking US locals about the very world their country runs…

Interviewer: Kofi Anan is a drink. True or false?
American 1: Coffee is a drink!
American 2: Coffee and WHAT?
American 3: It sounds like a law firm.

Interviewer: Who is Tony Blair?
American 1: I don't even know.
Interviewer: Any guess?
American 1: A skater?
American 2: Tony Blair is an actor!
American 3: Linda Blair's brother?

Interviewer: Which countries are in the “axis of evil”?
American 1: Um… I know Germany's one of them… I'm not sure about the other ones.
American 2: OK… California. New York? Florida …and I believe…. Mississipi?
American 3: Jerusalem.
American 4: Jerusalem.
Interviewer: There's more than one.
American 4: I think all of them!
American 5: Does it start with us?
American 6: OK, I'm a little mixed up over the Palestinians and the Israelis. OK… which one is throwing the rocks?
American 7: Oh, I can't think of the others… The name of the others… The fellow with the turban thing and … I call it a diaper head (laughs) really!

Interviewer: Who was the first man on the moon?
American 1: John Glenn.
American 2: Armstrong walked on the moon, but I think it was a Russian… I'm not sure.
American 3: Well, I've got to tell you. Some people don't believe that happened… they believe that was reincarnated in Arizona somewhere.

Interviewer: What is a mosque?
American 1: Don't have any idea.
Interviewer: You want to guess?
American 1: An animal?
American 2: I have no intelligent guess.
Interviewer: OK, do you want to make a stupid guess?

Interviewer: How many kidneys does a person have?
American: One.

Interviewer: What is 'collateral damage'?
American: Well, they just made a film about it, but that's definitely not what it is. It probably has something to do with what the movie was about… but not neccessarily related to the movie. Do you know what I mean?

Interviewer: How many world wars have there been?
American: Three.

Interviewer: Which state does KFC come from?
American: What, the chicken? I don't know… I really don't know.
Interviewer: OK, do you know what KFC stands for?
American: Kentucky Fried Chicken, right?

Interviewer: 'Star Wars' is based on a true story. True or false?
American: True.

Interviewer: What are Hiroshima and Nagasaki famous for?
American: Uh… What is it… Zudo Wrestling? Or whatever…

Interviewer: Where is the West Bank?
American 1: On the East Coast probably.
American 2: Uh… I'd say somewhere in New York.

Interviewer: How many Eiffel towers are there in Paris?
American: I'd say about ten.

Interviewer: What is al Qaeda?
American 1: al Qaeda is a group, a suicide group in Israel in the Middle East. They do suicide bombs and stuff. The president of it is Yassar Arafat. Everybody knows that.
American 2: al Qaeda is a wing of the Masonic order.

Interviewer: Where was the Berlin wall?
American: (long silence) Believe me, I don't know the answer to this question… But I'm thinking… Israel?

Interviewer: What is the main religion of Israel?
American: Muslim.

Interviewer: The language they speak in Latin America is 'Latin'. True or false?
American: The WHAT?

Note: Since there's been some confusion, I should point out that this is a CNNNN story; it's satire along the lines of the CBC's “Talking To Americans” show/segment.

April 8th 2003

So yesterday the US did massive bombing, dropping four JDAMs (the 2,000 pound bombs) into a residential neighborhood they believed Saddam was staying in. There are definitely massive civilian losses, with the “hope” of course that Saddam and his sons are dead (more), as if that “magically” ends all this. Because the US has promised to execute all of the higher up Iraqi POWs (more, more), it's not like they can surrender — a lot more people will die before this is over, no matter what Saddam's fate was.

Anyway, America will declare the war “won”, and the 80% of American people who've been effectively blinded by propaganda (more) will drive their SUVs one block to McDonalds and shove Big Macs into their mouths with their overstuffed chubby fingers as their civil liberties stay restricted (more) — the rest (the people with eyes open) simply don't count in the eyes of the Bush regime. Iraq will spend years in chaos as the fighting continues and will eventually find itself worse off than before the invasion… Just like Afghanistan (more). Just like was planned.

Bin Laden (who?), who just released a new tape urging terrorist attacks on the US (more), will see an upsurge in membership to al Qaeda (more). Syria will be targeted for regime change, and war will continue as long as there are people to kill (more) and bombs to be sold. The economy will continue to go downhill (more), unless of course you're in the war profiteering business (more) or even just selling cheap crap for fools to wear:

And, when a hundred years have passed, the history books will record this as the first in series of violent and unprovoked wars against legal governments, this one who turning out not to have “weapons of mass destruction” (more) — and even the rumors of torture will turn out to be questionable (more) — with an end result of bringing not freedom to Iraq, but pain and chaos (more, more).


So I was wondering why I've been getting a large amount of hatemail over the weekend and yesterday. I mean, it does come in pretty constantly, but it was noticeably higher than usual. Turns out that BME/Risks got mentioned on (thanks to Keith for letting me know). Anyway, here's a sampling of the mail that's come in:

"None of your friends will ever talk to you again...or even be able to look you in the face [if you do these things]."

"Regarding 'Broken Dick', I feel that this has been a most educational experience. The tragic story of Sir William Carrot will remain with me always."

"my bladder infection has slowly crept out my pee hole and now my penis head looks like a van goh painting. please help, someone, please help."

"[You are a] Horrible Freak. Nobody would (or should) ever talk to you again after you have your cock head split in half."


"i saw the picture when opening this page [fingernal mods] to see what it was and it was disgusting. i said to myself, Oh my God - 'Oh My God' what is wrong with the minds of some people? 95% of the people who would see this and realize it was purposely done would say 'OMG' and maybe a few more choice phrases."

"how u get your dick broken?"

That's just a small sampling…


Dual monitors up and running. Now to get a set of mirrored 120 gig drives in place and then I can start making the automated tasks and BME maintenance tools functional again (that's why there have been no newsfeed updates in about 72 hours). And I have some features I want to add to IAM today as well…

The card below didn't work; I had to pop out both it and the card the computer shipped with and have installed a dual-head AGP card that I was using on this box's predecessor… Which as you can see worked fine!