Monthly Archives: April 2003

Quick morning toast

I thought it was hail this morning; the snow is really wet so it was making that noise on the window to wake me up, and quite a lot has come down (as you can see by the one-again buried summer vehicles). Anyway, I've got a pile of stuff to do today that I've been slacking on so I can't do a news update unless I working inhumanely fast (and note the lack of [sic] with that).

BME plan for today:

  • Have breakfast (veggie burrito of course, made fresh)
  • Watch the daily show
  • Write bot that handles some username conflict errors for account creation
  • Drink insane quantities of tea
  • Call some reporter about tongue splitting
  • Finish BME image update and upload
  • Write greed output routines, consider “warning” system
  • …and much more


A small (just over 500 image) update is on its way to the site now. I figure it'll be there late afternoon or early evening. It's fairly overcast here but the satellite is cutting through OK for now.

Full update tomorrow I expect, and hopefully another interview will be posted as well (this one real). Oh, and it's Raur on the cover if anyone's wondering!

Sure would suck to be pregnant in Iraq… The US just “accidentally” bombed a Red Cross maternity hospital outside Baghdad. Ooops! Sorry about that!

It just makes you want to do the Helen Lovejoy whiney yell, “Won't somebody pleeeeeze think of the children?”

Conspiracy Theory of the Moment
SARS is actually a bioweapon designed to devastate China, just like AIDS was a bioweapon designed to devastate minority communities. It will be “allowed” to kill millions in the China, but there will be few deaths in the US except in low income brakets that can not afford proper healthcare.

The Other Kook Says…
SARS is actually a bioweapon designed to allow FEMA to kick into full gear. It will be “allowed” to infect millions of Americans, many of whom will die, before FEMA dissolves the US government and institutes martial law rule of the country.

The Religious Fanatic Says…
Do you really need more proof that we're living in the end times?

"Criswell Shannon Predicts"

In all seriousness, this is what I believe will happen:

  1. Iraqi command will be effectively destroyed within a one to two month window.
  2. No independently confirmed WMDs will be found.
  3. The US public will be told that the war is over (and believe it), although it will continue for at least one to two years as Iraqi militia and guerrilla groups continue to fight both “for Saddam” and for independence from US occupation.
  4. Massive amounts of private contracts for rebuilding, policing, and oil will be given to companies loyal to the US government, at the cost of the US taxpayer.
  5. A Palestinian nation will be carved out of Iraq.
  6. The UN will act like this never happened and welcome the US back.
  7. Rumsfield and the Bush regime will continue to threaten Iran and Syria, but no full-scale conflict will arise before the election. North Korea will not be threatened seriously.
  8. Over the next year and a half the economic and civil liberties damages will become clear and Bush will lose the next election.
  9. “Quality of life” as far as poverty and rights issues will continue to decline in America in relation to the rest of the Western world.
  10. The anti-war movement will feel “defeated” because of America's victory* in Iraq, but feel “vindicated” when war doesn't spread to the rest of the Middle East, and “victorious” when Bush is defeated.
  11. US puppet control of Iraq will radicalize over a four to six year window and religious extremists far worse than Saddam will seize that nation.
  12. Terrorist forces will build up and within a five to ten year window launch another severe attack on US soil. The US intelligence community will again be implicated in this attack.
  13. Iraq will be threatened and invaded.

End results:

  1. Bush et al are very very very very rich.
  2. There are a lot of dead people. The overwhelming majority are not American.
  3. The American people get poorer every year and the lower classes grow to massive proportions.

That said, the above is the “through rose coloured glasses” version. That's how it's “supposed” to turn out. I could give nightmare scenarios as well, but if I was a betting man, the above is where my money would go. OK… I can't resist. A few of the nightmare scenarios:

  1. Other Middle Eastern countries become involved and supply troops and gear, including nuclear weaponry from Iran. Iraq is able to hold off American invaders and this turns into another Vietnam. The US is defeated and humiliated publicly.
  2. Conflict with Russia and China escalates into first economic war, then a military standoff. First shots are fired, and we find ourselves playing with our big guns from the 60s and 70s. Russia and China destroy 50% of the US infrastructure before the war ends with no apparent victor.
  3. North Korea nukes someone for [insert reason here].
  4. SARS turns out to be a serious medical threat (we won't know for at least a few weeks) and 10% – 25% of the world population dies within one year in a plague of Biblical proportions… Because it's the apocalyse. God returns to judge the wicked and this world ends.

* Is it really a victory when the world's strongest nation forces one of the world's weakest nations into submission?


My plan for this morning (I hear I have guests this afternoon)… 1. Make some breakfast (fresh hummous, pitas, fresh veggie burritos), 2. Watch last night's Daily Show, 3. Do an image update.

I'll just very quickly touch on a few news stories.

As all of you who watch the financial news know, the war is already starting to have a real destructive impact on the economy (more). This isn't just things like the stock market I'm talking about — retail sales and spending in general is down as well.

Residents in Basra, under attack for 13 days now, say that the invaders are having little success and Saddam's boyz are in total control still (more). In fact, not a single city has fallen yet (more), and the Iraqis, even “simple villagers”, are, in classic guerrilla-style, beginning to arm themselves with top of the line gear — by stealing it from the US and the British (more).

Why do you think they attack the supply lines? It's not just to disrupt the troops on the front line. It's because they need the better equipment for a “fair fight”. See, right now the US and UK have a massive advantage because they can see farther, shoot farther, and so on… But without that gear….

Interjection: This is classic guerrilla warfare science. Every trailed military planner since the 1960s should be very well versed in it. This leads one to believe that (a) US plans are going much better than expected, (b) Iraqi civilian/militia forces are much stronger than expected, or (c) the planning for this war has been truly incompetent. We won't know which until the smoke and blood clear... It could be in a week if US estimates are truthful, or it could be in six months, or it could be never...

Lies, lies, lies. Remember how you were told by the US that they didn't actually bomb that civilian marketplace, that it was a “trick” by the Iraqis? NOPE. It was a Raytheon (aka the company conspiracists accuse of providing fly-by-wire technologies that crashed the 911 planes) manufactured US fired missile (more). Now the question is…

When the US claimed it was an Iraqi psy-op attack on its own people, the story was played every hour graphically on CNN. It was played non-stop to damn the “brutality” of the attack. So what will happen now? There are three options:

  1. CNN will continue to claim it was the Iraqis.
  2. CNN will drop the story and move on to the next one.
  3. CNN will tell the truth, and out the US as brutal killers of civilians who have nothing to do with Saddam or his alledged (insert evil of the day here).

I guess it'll be #1 for a short while, then there will be a very brief played once mention of #3, and then #2.


Yeah, I'm playing the Gulf War Drinking Game. What's it to ya? Is that a challenge? How about we place a little wager. I saw I can piss farther than that rock over there. Think you can go farther?