So I'm on the phone with Newsweek who called me unexpectedly at about 9:10 PM, at which point I've already been drinking and helping orchestrate a twenty-five person pissing party (I have to admit I'm very curious as to whether that was fun or if it went horribly wrong)…
Anyway, they kept bugging me to put them in touch with tongue splitting people in Illinois, which I told them I wasn't willing to do.
Newsweek: Can you put us in touch with anyone in Chicago that has a tongue splitting that was done in Illinois?
Shannon: I really wouldn't feel comfortable with that as I'm worried it could get their practitioner in legal trouble.
NW: But they can't retroactively charge them...
Shannon: Look, they've made it clear that they're willing to lie and corrupt the governmental process in order to harass people on this subject. Not only that, but over the past month I have seen several friends arrested on fraudulent charges because of their body modification activities, and I am simply not comfortable putting people I care about at risk to sell advertising.
NW: Don't you think you should let them make that decision?
Shannon: Do you see me stopping you from talking to them? Feel free!
NW: But you're not giving us any contacts! We don't know how to get in touch with those people.
Shannon: And that's my problem... how?
I'm not kidding about those arrests by the way. They're not related to tongue splitting, but they are related to heavy body mods. “Top tier providers” have been hit recently with (as far as I know) fake childporn charges in order to get the ammunitiion required to seize their computers, contact lists, and so on.
I know the media is clamoring for people to talk to right now, and I'm not saying don't do it, but PLEASE PROTECT YOUR PRACTITIONER! Even if these new anti-freedom laws don't get passed, it's still a grey area. They've shown that they don't give a damn about fundamental rights or even basic honesty, so don't assume you're safe when this bill is (hopefully) defeated.
On an alternate note, I can not in good conscience recommend the following drink, which tastes somewhere between liquid candy and cough syrup. It is one ounce Goldschlager, and a half ounce each of Creme de Menthe, Southern Comfort, and Bolivian Coffee Liqueur…