Monthly Archives: June 2003

New Lizardman Column

'Body Modification'?

Interviewer: So why do people get tattoos?
Me: There are probably at least as many reasons as there
   are tattoos.
Interviewer: Yes, but generally why?
Me: Because people modify their bodies.
Interviewer: Some people.
Me: All people.
Interviewer: Not everyone gets pierced or tattooed.
Me: They all do something; haircuts, make up... even clothing
   changes the way in which your body looks and moves
Interviewer: But those things aren't permanent.
Me: So temporary body modification isn't body modification?
   That doesn't make much sense...

(read on)

I have a complaint…

To: webmaster@primofoods.com, webmaster@nabisco.ca, webmaster@kraftcanada.com
Subject: Extremely disgusting can of beans
CC: domainnames@kraft.com

This afternoon when opening a can of Primo Mixed Beans (purchased in late May or early June 2003 at the IGA in Tweed, Ontario) I noticed a long slimy object lying on top of the beans after I'd drained the can. Upon closer inspection it appears to be about half of a slug or large snail.

As a vegetarian I find it extremely disturbing that something like this would be included in a can of beans, and I am fairly certain that even if I ate meat this would not induce me to buy more beans from your company. Photos, including the lot number, are attached to this email and have also been posted to my website.

Shannon Larratt
POB 1021
Tweed ON
K0K3J0

Yesterday's Mission"

If you want to play with the er or the (both tools for quickly implementing new colour schemes on your page), you might appreciate these two new tools as well:

  1. Settings backup – This will backup all your current colour and layout settings, so you can make changes without worry that you’re going to horribly alter them and not be able to remember how to get it back.
  2. Settings restore – This loads the backed-up settings and re-applies them to your page. Don’t you wish I’d done this yesterday?

And briefly, some more pictures from the future:

Playtime

OK, I'm playing Baital's 5-question game. Basically you answer five quetions, and then people post a “now me” and you ask them five questions in turn… and then they post the answers on their page and the process continues as they ask people. My questions are from Mal:

1. If you could be a kitchen appliance, which one would you be and why?
A blender can take simple concepts and produce complex ideas in a minimal amount of time, and if I can upgrade to a food processor, it can do far, far more. I choose that for its versatility; a food processor is always doing something interesting.

2. When was the last time you told a lie, and are you sorry that you did?
My memory is too bad to be an effective liar so I think I tend to simply omit instead, and I doubt I'm particularly aware of it when I do it. If you say something that you believe is true, but then turns out not to, does that count as a lie?

3. There is a person you haven't seen for awhile. Who was the first person that came to mind as you read that? What do you think that person's answer would be if you asked him or her “What is the meaning of life?”
Phil would tell me the answer is “smile and nod”. I thought of Phil because I think the last “lie” I told was someone else being an ass to me using Phil's name and jumping to conclusions that were probably somewhat unfair.

4. Would you rather be able to see music or identify emotions by their smells?
I can already do both — synesthesia and pheromones are things you can work consciously with minimal effort. Having deeper perception emotionally would probably be more useful, but the music one is more fun and satisfying I think.

5. Which is more destructive: ignorance or stupidity?
There's nothing wrong with being stupid as long as you don't use it as an excuse to be willfully ignorant. Stupid is something that you're born with and deal with and get over… ignorant is something you decide to be. I have no respect for ignorance, but I have plenty of stupid friends who are wonderful people… just like I have clumsy friends, fat friends, deaf friends, and so on. Having a shortcoming in some area of your life is normal and nothing to be ashamed of. I have problems keeping my weight reasonable at times and I hope my friends don't think less of me for it…

If you want to play, post in the forum here and I'll send five questions your way (I'll do the first ten people only; after that I doubt I can think up new questions any more!). I can't promise you'll like my questions though.

(Original forum unavailable, sorry)*

BMEfest coming into focus!

Everything is falling into place. I've confirmed the following:

Magic Bus Shuttle
The bus will be running from Union Station at 10:30 AM and then returning for the end of transit late that night. Spots must be confirmed in advance (there are still a small handfull left).

Crappers
A couple porta-potties are confirmed so you won't have to sneak into the cornfield to rub one out.

PA system
We have a 1200 watt PA system, mics, monitors, and mixer confirmed for the bands and music. If those in the bands have specific needs that I might have forgotten be sure to let me know.

Stage and Tent
The stage is under a 30'x30' tent with a 16'x20' raised stage. It has a floodlight system built into it for the bands and for general lighting, and we have a generator to back everything up.

Crane
Yes, we have a crane — the suspension show will do done off a giant crane usually used for bungee jumping. So expect that to be amazing!

Shirts
The two shirt designs (and the third bonus design) have been ordered… 120 shirts or so and a few hoodies are being printed. They're being sold at cost on a first-come first-serve basis so I wouldn't be surprised if they disappear pretty fast. If you're coming late consider having a friend grab yours (although if there's a lot of people left without I'll run more later).

…I still have to sort out some food and such. There will be BBQs running, and we've been thinking it might make sense to ask a local chip truck to come as well. I might check with the LCBO and see what's involved in getting a permit to sell alcohol as well since that might make life easier for some people.