Monthly Archives: June 2003

Good news for the pyros

Fire gear (and some suspension toys) just got here via courier this morning, and a typically massive order of fireworks is on its way for BMEfest, and Ryan went to Peterborough today to personally verify that the BBQ shirts are perfect (so be sure to thank him at the BBQ, he totally went “above and beyond”).

I was worried that there'd be no fireworks this year because there are fire-bans here in the winter, but luckily it's been wet. Later today I'll finally post the schedule and all that, including who the organizers are for the subsections of the BBQ where it's relevant. Anyway, expect to have fun.

Hey now…

I'm off to the gym, then to lunch, then to the eye doctor, and then when I get back I guess I'm doing some interview with some newstalk radio station (CJME/CKOM) in Saskatchewan or something. My guess they'll ask the same two or three questions about tongue splitting they always do and nothing particularly inspired will come of it.

I'm getting ready to just start making crap up with these foolish DJs that just are looking to fill five minutes with whatever the latest thing is to keep their advertisors happy.

DJ: How many people have their tongues split?

Shannon: Well, five years ago it was almost unheard of, but now, hundreds of thousands of people. It's a [beep]ing army of snake men.

DJ: Really?!? Why did all these people do it?

Shannon: Haven't you heard of the Lizardman? He's the one member of the reptilian overlord race that we humans actually have a chance with. He feels that maybe we are more than just slaves, and our church teaches that if we recreate ourselves in his image he is more likely to accept our offerings.

DJ: Are you serious?

Shannon: Oh, absolutely... Mark my words, there is a great battle coming, and you're going to wish you had your tongue split too.

I wonder how far they'd let me take it on air?

The new trend

When reporters ask me about tongue splitting, they always ask me the same lame questions: is it the new trend? how many people are doing it? and crap like that. No. It's not “the new trend” and I don't see it hitting mass acceptance. It's an intense and dangerous procedure when done on an amateur level, and it's probably not going to take off as a legit medical procedure even if some surgeons do turn out to be willing to help.

The new “trend” is facial tattooing. Mark my words! In three or four years, facial tattooing will be as common as stretched ears. Every update I get more and more facial tattooing pictures. The farther out people are getting wild work like I've pictured here on the right, but even “normal” mainstream folks are getting it. I see a lot of things like little stars on necks, and really pretty decorations along women's hairlines and so on.

Facial tattooing is going to be the biggest and most revolutionary thing our community does. It's how we'll really change the world. That's my prediction anyway, and so far my predictions seem to be turning out fairly accurately. Let's hope I'm wrong about the coming human-robot apocalypse.

If you don't got Mojo Nixon, then your store could use some fixin'

Someone actually had the brain damage required to send the following image in for membership. Yes, just some ad for cheap jewelry… and they couldn't even figure out how to send it properly so the bottom half was always cut off. They did send a follow-up email with various smaller images of the same though.


I'm working all day… The queue of images is quite massive… So now to keep my fingers crossed that the software does what it's supposed to do I guess.

Oh, and according to the latest polls on BME…

  BME Poll-of-the-Moment:
   How will you be voting in the next US election?
I'm not an American!!!!:   41.53%
Too young to vote:    9.95%
I don't vote:   11.31%
Democrat (ie. Dean, etc.):   17.54%
Republican (ie. Bush, etc.):    7.74%
Other (ie. Nader, etc.):   11.92%
  1317 votes so far.  
Return to BME   |   Suggest a new poll   |   Visit poll archive

Now, I realize there are certain flaws in this poll, such as the ommission of an “undecided” category, as well as the fact that the choice of Democratic candidate will of course massively swing the vote as well. However, I think it's important to note that as far as support from BME readers go, there is a strong majority that votes Democrat, and a surprising number that vote independent — even more than vote Republican.

In Canada, a while back, we had two “Progressive Conservative” govenments in a row (sort of like our equivalent to the Republican Party). Both were landslide victories and majority governments. However, by the end of their second run, the people were so pissed off at their lying and economic scams and corruption that they got so few votes that what had been a dominant major party actually lost their official party standing.

In my riding (an ethnic area that traditionally voted NDP, Canada's farthest left major party), even the Marijuana Party (who I voted for) received more votes than the Conservatives. So don't think it can't happen in the US as well. Assuming the voting system isn't rigged, if you get out and vote, not only can you defeat Bush, but you can potentially make the Republicans the “meaningless third party”.

Every independent poll I've seen has numbers similar to these. It's just the polls published in the (Republican owned) news media that present different numbers. Draw your own conclusions I suppose.