Monthly Archives: July 2003

Am I insane? Blind?

So I went down to the shore mall today in my bitchin' Camaro Porsche to buy some Def Leppard t-shirts glasses — as those of you who have seen me know, mine are too big (the lenses are too big that is) and they look kind of funny. My glasses are perfectly round, so it's hard to find frames. Anyway, I went into the glasses place and this is roughly how it went:

Me: I'm looking for some glasses with round lenses, a little smaller than the ones I'm wearing.

One-toothed optician: OK… let's see… how about these?

Here's the rough shape of the ones she showed me:

Clearly those were not round.

Me: No, no, I mean perfectly round. Like a circle.

One-tooth: These are perfectly round.

Me: I mean like a circle. Totally round. The same height as width… shaped like a coin.

One-tooth: They don't make round glasses.

Me: No, really, you can get round glasses. I'm sure of it.

One-tooth: These are the roundest glasses they make. You can't get anything rounder than this.

Me: Look at my glasses. They're round, right? I just got them. They're just bigger than I want; the store online I got them from had tons of pairs, I was just hoping to get some locally.

One-tooth: Your glasses aren't round at all. Those are teardrop shaped. You can't get round glasses.

OK, so that was kind of weird, because I could swear that mine were round. I took them off and looked at them carefully and as you can see from the scan below (with a perfect circle superimposed in green), they really are round.

One-tooth would have nothing of it though.

Me: I'm pretty sure these are round, I mean, look at them!

One-tooth: No, they're not. They don't make round glasses.

Me: Well, they look round to me… Anyway, do you have a catalog I could look at, maybe I could order a set?

One-tooth: No, we don't have catalogs. The head office just sends us whatever they think is right.

At that point a cop came in and started looking me up and down kind of funny and I decided to leave. One-tooth had been really nice to me, so I don't think she was lying to me or trying to screw me over — I think that she was just insanely stupid… But I really didn't feel like getting tossed out of the mall for arguing with some moron over what a circle is.

I went to another glasses place a few doors down and had a similar conversation…

Me: Do you have round glasses? I'm looking for a set kind of like the ones I'm wearing, but with smaller lenses.

Too-much-makeup: Oh, they don't make round glasses.

Me: Look, I'm wearing some. Obviously they exist.

Old and friendly: Well, we have these Alfred Sung ones at the front; those are round.

Too-much-makeup: Here they are — would these do?

While Alfred Sung does make some nice wire-frame round glasses (I owned a pair until the dumb dog ate them), the ones that Too-much-makeup showed me were oval teardrops, with really heavy frames. It was clear that I was dealing with monkeys wearing human suits.

Me: By round I mean shaped like a circle.

Too-much-makeup: Oh! Like the ones you're wearing. You can only get those at flea markets and yard sales.

I couldn't take it any more. Realizing why I avoid the mall, I wandered over to the gym and dropped off a copy of the ModCon book for my trainer and headed home… I think I'm going to head over to the Sand Bar now… I hear they let sixteen year olds drink.


I realize this is old news, but I just installed Microsoft's Powertoy replacement for the Alt+Tab switcher. The new one not only display's the application's icon, but also a screen shot of what's in the window — VERY useful for those of us who tend to do a lot at once. Click:

I'm told you need a faster computer to run this; I'm just on a single CPU PIV-2.4 GHz right now (good, but not that fast on the scale of things) and it's totally fast enough. But if you're on a PIII or below I wouldn't bother. Anyway, I'm sold on it.

I see little feet!

First of all, big congratulations out to Keldon and Eash for adding ten more toes to their toe collection, bringing them to a combined total of thirty toes (and at least as many fingers as far as I know, but only six ears between them).

Also, for those of you going to the awesome 3rd Annual Great Lakes BBQ in Azalia, Michigan (about 20 minutes from Toledo, Ohio, and 30 minutes from Detroit, and 25 minutes from AnnArbo), they have a firepit and a pool… making it I think the first ever big BME Pool Party! It's happening today and tomorrow, so check it out if you want something fun to do this weekend. Oh, and be sure to wish Clive a happy birthday (who will be there shooting for the BME Movie with Badur). Wish I could be there, it sounds fun…

A nice way to start the day

I just got a call from one of my oldest long-term friends in the world (I think the order off the top of my head goes Leah, Greg — my ideological opposite ;) — Lara, Dave, Saira, and then Ryan and Ryan; as far as people who are all around or above the ten-year mark)… I think on Tuesday we'll go up and visit her (she's an artist in Hong Kong so I only see her every few years).

Her and Saira are the only ties left to my “old life”… Since Todd and Scott drowned I kind of drifted away from everyone else there. I don't really think about it much. I mean, what are you supposed to do? Todd and Scott both probably influenced my life more so than anyone else ever did in that time; none of this would be here without what I learned from them — and I think there are a number of other people who can say the same.

It's amazing how much one learns from friends; I'm not even sure they know it when they're doing it (and I'm not sure that one appreciates it until they're gone). There are dozens of people here, some that I haven't even met in person, that have transformed my life and helped me in many hurdles. One day I'll sit down and write an enormous list of public thank you's and embarass both them and myself.


Rachel is in Montreal this weekend shooting the tattoo convention with Jerome — BME has a full booth there, so check us out and have your picture taken… Anyway, I'm kind of helpless without her around; it most definitely messes with my head. As a result, I pour myself into work, and when I'm not doing that, I tend to drink myself into a stupor (and no, I don't need a lecture).

Anyway, I've posted a second article as well, regarding this bullshit study on body modification dangers that the EU has been parading around; here's a teaser, or click here to read it. (If you want to know more about this “study”, you can see it all over the newsfeed).

As far as their claim of “tattoo ink being car paint”, it is true that many of the same dyes are used in tattoo ink as are used in car paint… but those same FDA approved dyes are used in food products, medical products, and so on — guess what — some cars have components made of stainless steel and titanium. Does that mean we should ban body piercing because “piercing jewelry is made of car parts?” The human body contains a significant amount of fecal matter at most times; because of that, I'd like to urge that Philippe Busquin, the EU commissioner responsible for this deceptive report, be flushed down the toilet for being a big walking turd.


Anyway, I'm now going to move on to the stupor part of my day.