Crazy Cabbie Shaman

So on the ride home last night from the bar the cab driver — a talkative man in his late fifties or early sixties — was telling us about his back problems that he'd had long before. He ended up in a store in Chinatown that sold him a do-it-yourself accupuncture kit, and he claims to have cured himself. “I do miracles,” he told us. He proceeded to tell us at least a couple dozen stories about different people he'd cured using a variety of folk remedies.

He travelled back to his native Macedonia — “a small village just near where Alexander the Great grew up” — where his sons were running a successful American-style ultra-modern burger joint that was the talk of the tiny rural community. There he used accupuncture to cure the people where he grew up. Lines began forming to his house and he was performing so “many miracles” that Macedonian radio did a feature on him as a healer. In the aftermath of this he overdosed on poisonous — and psychotropic — mushrooms and fell into a five hour coma somewhere in near the Greek border.

While in this coma he left his body and astrally traveled half way to heaven where he met Jesus — “I liked him… a really nice friendly guy, really beautiful, soft voice” — who asked him what his wish was; whether he wanted to go to heaven, or keep working on Earth as a healer. So he chose to return to the Earth, and Jesus granted that wish, promising many more years of doing good work.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you should go out drinking more often!

Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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