A sheltered ocean bay

Had lunch today in a thatch roof hut on the beach. It was a bit expensive I suppose, but when that “overpriced” $10 meal gives two people each a full course and appetizers, you can't really complain, can you? I had some trouble ordering vegan because it wasn't a vegetarian place, but I'm getting better at it… Qué plato tiene sin carne o queso? Yo no como carne, pollo, huevos, pescado, leche, o queso.

“You only want vegetables?”

Si, solo como vegetales, cereales y granos.

Things took a long time to get to us; about twenty minutes in I was beginning to think we were being snubbed for my tattoos or unusual requests, but as it turns out I think it was just a slow kitchen afternoon. The meal was good, and on the way out, one of the waiters asked to check out my sleeve — he seemed really happy to meet another tattooed person. He had a tattoo on his back, but it was a “secret” since no one he knew liked tattoos.

We took a short walk down the beach; that photo was on one of the piers on the main strip. Oh, and we got our house keys today as well, it's in a nice quiet neighborhood and is probably about a quarter bigger than our Toronto apartment at under half the price. Out Internet connection won't be running until Monday, but as soon as it's up I should be able to start updating BME again.

I also got a very nice follow-up letter from LisaKay who I quoted a few entries back (with an initial not-so-nice letter). Perhaps some of you wrote her letters that were helpful. Not that I agree with it entirely, but I feel it's only fair to her to post this follow-up letter:

Happy New Years to all of you who wrote to me.

Thanks for your replies. I didn't mean anyone any ill will. I was just expressing myself after all. Isn't that what you and the site purport? Freedom of self expression? Maybe my views are different than yours. No big deal. I was just expressing my thoughts in writing. No big whoop.

My thoughts and views aren't as tiny as you may think. I'm an artist with a college degree, and I get paid for it. I'm also a parent and an auntie who is troubled by the fact that I see too many kids these days think that turning themselves into human pin cushions and billboards is cool. That is what I find sad, the fact that they are trying to find their way, and drift into your area. When a kid is all of 14-16 he/she isn't ready to make these permanent decisions.

I took umbrage at the fact that your site lets you 'peek' and then you have to pay. That's a good biz model, but when your biz is directed at kids, which it truly is. There in lies the rub.

I'm not lobbying anyone in congress or anything. You have an internet website. You Go girl! I'm all for you having your first amendment rights, I exercise mine as well as my second... I do it responsibly.

I find the fact that the irony is so lost on you guys. Why is it that the supposed most tolerant open minded people become so un-hinged by my little opinion. If you are so tolerant of self expression why couldn't you just embrace mine? Maybe I should get a tattoo of ? on my ass and send in a photo?

Oh, c'mon these are jokes. Lighten up. Happy New Year!!!

Thanks for reading,

Very very few of BME's paying members — to the best of my knowledge, none, at least not without their parent's permission — are “kids” (I'm not including IAM of course). But the truth of the matter is that much of the support one finds on BME is needed as badly by young people as by older people.

The vast majority of people who have that “inherent” modification drive (where it's as compulsive and unmalleable as sexual orientation; that is, not a choice) come out at least to themselves at about puberty (which makes me believe it's linked to sexual behavior). Not when they turn eighteen or twenty one, as nice as that might be… I think that's the hardest thing for plainskins to understand about us — that it's not a choice, that it's quite literally who we are. Sure, we can hide it, but it's still there burning away inside us, and living in the wrong body is torture.

I realize that many tattooed and pierced people reading this may strongly disagree with my take on this, but please understand that these days body modification is very fashionable so it's reaching demographics other than just the “no choice” crowd… But it's that “no choice” crowd that is the heart and soul of body modification, and has been for the last thirty thousand years.

I'm starting to ramble, but there was a wonderful eulogy written in one of the later PFIQs. Maybe someone can send me the exact quote so I can add it later, but to paraphrase, “from when I was eight years old and felt my cock getting hard when I put on my brother's motorcycle jacket, I knew leather wasn't a choice for me — it was who I was”. Some “I want real freedom” folks may find it distasteful, but I really believe that far more behavior than we acknowledge is hardwired rather than learned.

Update, c/o scrunnel:

It was for Peter Shaun Morrison (March 24, 1951 – September 9, 1994) and appeared in PFIQ #43 (approx.March, 1995). Your memory is fairly accurate.

The exact quote is:

“Being gay was never an option for me,” he would say in 1988, in his candidacy speech to Mr. International Leather. “It was what I was. Crawling into my brother's motorcycle jacket for the first time and feeling my dick get hard, I knew that leather wasn't an option either. It was what I was.” He was first runner-up that year.

For bibliographical purposes the piece is signed jointly by Ken Dubois and Jim Ward.

Anyway, let me give you another letter from my “funmail” bag.

From: Harnoor
Subject: Mastitis

when i got my nipple pierced,i began to feel dizzy. like that wasnt enough, i also let someone play with it during sex. i went to the doctor and he said ur pregnant and if you dont get rid of it u will die

Uh…. thanks.

Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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