This is one of the promo shots from Smash Pictures's new movie Six in Me (starring, among others, Terri Summers, if you care about that sort of trivia). Anyway, I see silly tattoos all the time, but the crucified Gumby on the dude in the top right of the photo has got to be high on my list of funniest tattoos. Googling for it makes me think there may be some in-joke I'm missing, so if anyone can explain the relevance to me, please do.
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I'm so tired and dazed and generally out of it that it almost killed me to get it done — at one point I had to go lie down, thinking I was going into some kind of shock or stroke (most likely because of the dangerous mix of uppers and downers I subsist on), but I've just posted an image update with a bit over a thousand new pictures. Thanks to everyone who helped out and has been patient waiting for their images to be posted (I'm currently running about ten days behind right now on picture submissions).
I wonder… if the rabid push in America toward “virginity” is causing more teenagers to try anal sex because it's not “technically” sex, will banning facial piercings from schools cause more young people to get pierced south of the border? Anyway, I can probably get arrested these days just for asking that question…
There's lots of good bloody shots in this update, both in the public sections and in BME/HARD of course as well. I think I was a little disappointed that my facial cutting didn't bleed more — we didn't even leave a single drop of blood in the hotel room. Normally my face bleeds like crazy, but then again, it might just be that most of the time when I penetrate the skin which wraps my skull my co-conspirators and I have such alcohol-diluted blood that it flows like wine at some Dionysian orgy.
In a recent interview he described himself as an “ineffectual individual,” which is surprising for someone with such a prodigious output. Do you think he could survive without a woman like yourself in his life?
No, he wouldn't. He'd be dead without me. [Laughs.] When I met him his life was such a wreck. He's really a soft guy. He just wants to be liked too much. When he says ineffectual, he just can't say no to people. There are always parasites ready to jump on somebody like that. So I'm the bad cop.
It's sort of scary (sub in “pathetic” if you'd like) how much Rachel keeps me going. As much as I produce what I think is a decent amount of work, it's a lot more effort than I think people would guess… I joke that I'm an idiot savant, or that I can't remember what I did fifteen minutes ago, but it's true… it's not that I'm joking as in “making it up”, but just joking because there's not really anything else I can do about it.
I'm pretty sure Bukowski scripted my life, but that's okay because the most beautiful art lives and dies drunk in a gutter… but ultimately I think I'm too much of a mystic. Bukowski would likely beat me senseless and then rape me… so I'm sticking with Jodorowsky — “One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was half full. And he said, 'Is it half full or half empty?' So I drank the water. No more problem.” The lower you fall, the higher you can rise.
I liked it coming out of that expensive
cafe in Germany
that rainy night
some of the ladies had learned that I
was in there
and as I walked out well-fed and
intoxicated
the ladies screamed at me
but all I recognized was my name.I asked a German friend what they were
saying.
Germany hates BME?
They tell me BME
is endangering
the German youth.Personally I think
they are endangered
in its absence.“they hate you,” he told me,
“they belong to the German Female
Liberation movement…”I stood and watched them, they were
beautiful and screaming, I
loved them all, I laughed, waved,
blew them kisses.then my friend, my publisher and my
girlfriend got me into the car; the
engine started, the windshield wipers
began thrashing
and as we drove off in the rain
I looked back
watched them standing in that
terrible weather
waving their placards and their
fists.it was nice to be recognized
in the country of my birth, that
was what mattered
most…
But why the picture of the rhinos you ask?
In a haze this morning I found myself driving down a marsh-side road in Canada when out of the reeds our truck was approached by a family similar to the one you see above, although they were somewhat deformed stylized and were pinkish in hue with large orange giraffe-like spots — I thought to myself, “I have to blog about this”, and reached for my camera only to find I'd left it at home. Irate, I suppose that he'd missed out on his chance for fame and fortune, the largest of the rhinos charged the truck! Rachel threw it in reverse, floored it, and we narrowly avoided the impact.
Slowly the scene faded and I found myself lying on the floor of my office, not sure if I should worry about my hallucination and/or astral projection, or embrace it as another piece of the rich tapestry that we willful lunatics enjoy. But maybe I'm making the whole thing up? In the interest of avoiding another unpleasant stay in the asylum, let me definitely say: it's all a story, told for my own amusement.
Or should I say a hundred and forty? The girl in the third photo got 138 piercings. Thanks to BlueStar, nellyzofe, and Plea4paiN for all trying something goofy. I'm not going to tell you that any of these are neccesarily a good idea — not even close — but I'd like to think the universe has a sense of humor, and that entry into heaven is determined by who's told the best jokes and told the best stories, rather than who's washed the most lepers' feet.
So far no cancer or abnormal growths!
Fueled by a mix of Red Bull, coconut milk, cranberry juice, and good old wish-I-was-back-in-the-islands 151-proof rum, I've outputted a few more test animations from my Worldlog software. These are all based on usage stats from my friend ServMe's FriedKitten blog, which is an ideal test because it gets a decent amount of hits, but not so many that it takes a long time to process.
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The right animation is an hourly animation, with every frame being five minutes of access, and is also partially zoomed in. The usage is surprisingly flat (usually the time of day has more of an effect on usage) so I have a nagging feeling there's a problem, but I haven't found it in the code so I'm not sure… Anyway, it's coming along nicely, but now it's back to real work so this project is going to have to stall for a little while. Thanks to everyone who helped me out by sharing log files.
Peering into my “office” at any given moment in time it would be very easy to convince yourself that my life is more full of depraved and self-destructive vice than hard work, but don't let the excess of alcohol and sex fool you — I am a highly productive worker that like some cartoon robot is in fact fueled by these poisons rather than slowed down by them… albeit one that wilfully ignores the warning: “the flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long”
I've run a few more in-depth test plots to get myself warmed up for the “real” work (which I may or may not do this weekend because I have a short attention span, and have other things I “have to” do). Here's a few outputs from both my own log files and ones that people have sent in
 bodymodification.be This is a render for a month of access to bodymodification.be, run by ServMe. |
 Friedkitten.com …and for his other, more popular site, friedkitten. |
 deskwork.de You can see the German bias in the output for a day or so of logs for this tool's site. |
 Bot Nets? This is a record of (zombie-PC based) dictionary attacks on BME. |
 IAM users This is a record of all IAM user creations for well over four years of logs. |
 Hotmails These are originating IP stamps for unanswered messages from hotmail users currently in my personal inbox. |
 Submissions These are the IP locations that recent online image submissions sent to BME have come from. |
 Netzapper These are accesses to Netzapper's website, mostly hack attempts. |
So as I mentioned recently, I'm working on a geolocation-based log analysis tool that makes animated (and still) maps from your webserver logs (and other log files which contain IP records and timestamps). I used some of the locations from my own login log file here to test the accuracy of my IP to Lat/Lon database, and it seems to work fairly well — the only locations that tested inaccurately were a kiosk in Antigua (which showed up in NY), and my satellite connection in Tweed.
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Buenos Aires, Argentina | |
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Sun City Resort, South Africa | |
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La Paz, Mexico | |
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Toronto, Canada | |
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Maui, Hawaii | |
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London, UK | |
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Miramichi, Canada |
