I’m so cruel

Yesterday one of Nefarious’s school friends, who knows that I have a split tongue (her dad told her), ran over to me in the playground and was like “open your mouth, open your mouth!”, which is what she does every single time she sees me. Then she asks me about my pants.

“Why do you have all those marks on your pants?”

“Oh, those are from squishing bugs.”


“Yeah, they’re different colours because different bugs leave different colour squish-marks. In fact, these are all butterflies and you can tell by the colour of the mark what colour wings they used to have.”

Then I felt bad, because she burst into tears and sobbed, “you kill butterflies????” at which point I had to immediately tell her it was a joke and that I’d never kill a butterfly, and that it was just paint. Very relieved, she laughed, and went back to bugging me to open my mouth.



  1. MissJanet wrote:

    LOL, I once sewed a baby doll into pieces, hid them and had a group of elementaary school kids search them. At night, in the school-basement. THAT was cruel.
    My reputation changed somewhat aftre that. :)

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 1:15 am | Permalink
  2. Bookie_Chick wrote:

    hahaha!! Poor girl but the story is priceless!

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 5:11 am | Permalink
  3. angela wrote:

    wait, i think i see the butterfly!

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 6:58 am | Permalink
  4. Raskin666 wrote:

    I always wonder how children will react to my modifications when I have children of my own. I recently went to Kalahari Water Park and suddenly recently how different looking I have become based on other’s reactions. With a shirt off, people definitely treat me differently, or are not nearly as outgoing towards me. With children, I am not surprised or bothered given they are just curious about new things, but when adults stare and gawk I am actually a little surprised that in a contemporary society (these parents are in their 30’s tops) people still react quite so extremely to this type of thing.

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 3:55 pm | Permalink
  5. wlfdrgn wrote:

    Open your mouth and show me your split tongue!

    Open your pants and show me your split…

    Oh, right. That one would probably get you arrested. Never mind. :)

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 5:10 pm | Permalink
  6. Elizabeth wrote:

    How the heck did her Dad know? Oh wait, the internets, ok.

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 6:23 pm | Permalink
  7. Raskin666 wrote:

    WLFDRGN, hahaha! I thought the same thing when I started reading!

    Sunday, June 7, 2009 at 6:28 pm | Permalink
  8. Mike wrote:

    Is Fynn still bugging you about the split tongue?

    Monday, June 8, 2009 at 10:45 am | Permalink
  9. Shannon wrote:

    Every time I see her :)

    Monday, June 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm | Permalink
  10. h wrote:

    this paint splat looks like a dead butterfly dot com?

    Tuesday, June 9, 2009 at 4:58 am | Permalink
Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

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