Reporting from the Pool

These will be filed in the “ewwwww” category. So unfortunately they make this robot…

…become this robot…

Yeah, not the interesting sort of “ewww”.

Anyway, observed today at the pool:

1. Some scumbum was walking along the side of the pool and did a gigantic hork/spit right into the pool. Think old man in Chinatown obsessively spitting, but white trash dude instead. He also did it right before his bro dived in, almost hitting the little floating island of grossness. Scumbum spit a whole bunch more as the day progressed. I don’t think he was a swimmer, as he spent all his time in the shallow end, so I suppose to him the deep end might as well just be a giant spitoon.

2. I watched the lifeguard (actually, the “manager” because the lifeguards refused) fish out a floating pad… and sadly I’m not talking about a lily pad.

3. A pale (likely from too much time in a suit) old man spent a few minutes absentmindedly (but with great vigor and enthusiasm) playing with his nipples, pulling and twisting them, as he intently stared at the fit teenage boys cavorting together in the water. For some reason he favored his left nipple. And aww geez, as I typed in this note, I just noticed an even older guy doing the same, although preferred the right nipple. He did however agree on the twinks.

A little later I noticed that the guy enjoying his left nipple had a ten year old son.

An ambulance stopped in front of the pool for about five minutes so I wondered whether I’d be adding a number four to the list, but it after I saw that they had blocked in my car (the Saab Sonett III) and were moving their ambulance forward and backward by about ten feet repeatly I realized that they were just eyeballing the car. I really enjoy the car and it gets a crazy amount of attention, but I’m thinking about selling it just because it’s very hard for me to get out of the car because it’s so low, and a car with a clutch can be hard on my legs some days.

One Comment

  1. Libs wrote:

    Spotted at my local pool on our last visit:

    1. Asian man wearing white cotton boxers into the pool. They matched his white sunglasses that he wore while slowly walking around the shallow end looking at all the kids.

    2. A diaper floating my way. Shortly thereafter, I noticed the family with a naked baby who were looking very puzzled about the missing diaper.

    3. Middle-aged man sitting at the edge of the pool…CLIPPING HIS TOENAILS.

    Yep. :)

    Tuesday, August 23, 2011 at 11:37 am | Permalink
Wow Shannon, that's really annoying! What is it, 1997 on Geocities? Retroweb is NOT cool!

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *