Swimming yesterday was a lot of fun with crazy-dive contests with another girl that was at the pool as well as a swimming contest between her and Nefarious which consisted of her swimming (she was much older) and Nefarious being thrown across the pool by me every time I caught up, but the day before was a little odd. Before we got there, a big douchebag-type guy was screaming at the far-too-little teenage lifeguard — a rather frail looking Asian guy — about how he was going to report him for being rude and so on. I sort of wrote it off because the guy was obviously an ass, but when he left I asked the mother that was there with her developmentally disabled son what had happened. I guess the lifeguard had decided he was not fit to swim, and had told him to leave the pool unless he was willing to do a “deep end test” to satisfy his worries. His mother, who was swimming with him, vouched for his abilities, but with the lifegaurd shouting at them about how he would call security if they didn’t comply, the kid just decided to leave the pool and sit in a chair instead. He seemed quite upset.

After Nefarious had been swimming for a little while — in the deep end — he came over and tried to pull the same stunt with her. I told him to forget it, and that I’d swum there every day for the last month and a half with her and that it was completely ridiculous, and that he could go ahead and ask any of the other lifeguards, but that I wasn’t about to do any “test” for him. After complaining for a minute, he eventually just said, “fine, I don’t care, have it your way,” and stomped off and shouted at the (most likely) autistic boy to jump into the deep end… Pretty unprofessional behavior for a lifeguard. I’m assuming though that he must have had a scare earlier in the day or something like that to make him so angrily paranoid.

And I forgot to tell one of my stories from the day… I was watching a great German wheel act, but the woman standing in front of me — in the front row, refusing to sit down even though the act had asked her to — insisted on holding a large fancy and probably very expensive umbrella in my face. I pushed it out of my face a couple times when it got too close, and after the fourth time, she turned around and copped an over-the-top “DO YOU MIND?!?!?!” attitude…

I’m like, “yeah, I do mind, you’re in the front row with an umbrella blocking everyone behind you and you keep pushing it into my face!”

So then she starts freaking out, screaming “How dare you talk to a WOMAN that way!??!?” and making a scene that this is some sort of gender issue. I take a step toward her and she keeps freaking out — “Are you threatening me? Don’t you know it’s wrong to treat a WOMAN like this?!?” — and I’m just, “Look, just turn around and watch the show and keep your umbrella out of my face.”

So then she starts screaming at her kid, gets them in trouble for nothing, yells about me being an asshole, and drags them off and thankfully I didn’t see them again. (Nefarious was sitting down some distance from me so she was spared the ridiculousness of this drama-queen’s outburst).

Caitlin impersonates… After first laughing at me… “Oh, hello, I’m going to post this one, the least flattering picture ever.” And then laughs some more. But she cooked us some great food for our return… As you can see, the day in the sun was a little hard on me, hahaha. I will post a better picture another day. Better laugh now because I may come to my senses and delete that picture when I come out of my sun-induced dementia.

Went on some rides again…

And here’s me with Caitlin.

This afternoon Caitlin went to the Dufferin Grove farmer’s market and picked up some fresh veggies so I used some of them up in supper… The veggies are a mix of sweet onion, green onion, red and yellow pepper, zucchini, baby squash, garlic, and dragon carrots. The rice is brown rice and a mix of fava beans and chick peas. Both of those have a light sauce of lime and coconut curry. The fish is tilapia in garlic butter with a little lime and green onion.

After that, more swimming… I really like going for a swim at the very end of the day because the pool is relatively empty, it’s at its warmest, and the lighting is really pretty.

I have the world’s cheapest phone so my photo — which I’ve gone out of my way to enhance — of the trashed castle is completely useless… I saw a guy in the elevator of our building a few days ago playing with his iPhone, and it’s pretty slick looking, but I’m way past the point in my life where I have any interest in expensive gadgets. Unless it’s in the form of a boat or a car.

And now to catch up on my emails about various sorts of body modification for the upcoming books.

I cooked it along with a variety of other vegetables (which Nefarious was the prep cook for), rice, and tilapia in a sweet and sour sort of sauce. Very delicious… And fantasized about eating it on a boat, as I read the Living Aboard forums and wait for Big Brother to start.

I am building a boat in my backyard. With tools from Home Depot and used sails. I’m going to sail around the world. Alone. My naval architect quit because he thinks I’ll die. I’m not going to die. I’m going to come back and tell the story…

I’m trying to spend only $25,000 for a boat that will sail nonstop around the world, covering twenty-five thousand miles in four months. It will have to sail fast in light air in the equatorial regions and also survive fifty-foot seas and hundred-knot winds in the terrifying Southern Ocean as I sail around Antarctica. And I’m building the boat myself, quickly, in a month or two, so it’s flat bottomed, with straight sides, and as skinny and light and simple as possible.

Here’s the starter article, and he’s been blogging the adventure as well, and it’s a pretty exciting read. Safe money may well be with the naval architect’s worries. The pictures of him building and sailing the boat are absolutely inspiring though — not just to do this, but to do this out of a back yard on no money…

I have the firm conviction that sex is the driving force of the living in general and that non-violent anarchy is the only valid governing system for human society … I am pleased with all my body mods, however clumsy they are. They are proof of my authenticity; of my being myself.

My body-mods are positive proof of my revolt against society at large. Against a de-humanizing, self-destructive humanity. I would rather act upon myself then be acted upon.

I think that as body modification hits a plateau where nearly everything has entered the mainstream consciousness, we’ll see a deep schism form between those for whom body modification is something that they need (or something that they are), and those for whom body modification is something that they enjoy. Anyway, his quote underscores how far we are moving away from the wild, anarchical, unregulated and objectively irresponsible body modification movement of the 1990s, as more “responsible” and more corporate voices become dominant. On one hand this is quite wonderful (and certainly remarkable), and on the other hand, it’s very sad.

Click for more previews and the actual link.

1. A literal reprint of the ModCon book (exactly as it was in the first edition)… In theory I could get this put up in a week or two. Some of the material in the book will be reused in the subsequent two, but they’re mostly new.
2. A book about male genital modification. I’m aiming for about two months on this one.
3. A more general book on body modification with more of a pop-culture focus. I’m aiming for six months on this one.
4. A book about the history of modern body modification and my story with BME. There may be legal reasons why this can’t be published for now but I can at least get it written.

Other than that, whole wheat pizza dough.

Nefarious’s swimming and chess both continue to improve. On chess, I play her as if she was an adult, so for now she can keep up but not win — I think that when one dumbs down a game of skill for a kid (that is, let them win), you produce someone that falls short of their potential… I do however explain all of my moves and strategy to her as we play, so she “gets” the game better every time. We’re taking the next two weeks off summer camp for various adventures before school resumes in the fall so that should be fun.

This is a family of giants out for a walk in the rain.

In more pleasant news, and one with perfect solutions, Nefarious and I have moved up from checkers to full-on chess. It took her only about half a coached game to pick it up well enough to be challenging… Her fast-moving little five-year-old brain makes me feel old and clumsy-minded, that’s for sure. It is quite embarrassing how badly I play. If you’re wondering, they did zombie makeup at her school today — she’s looking forward to the next Toronto zombie march already!